6.5 months out....

88 lbs lost

Progress Picture.

From today... down 80 lbs!

Fiery Chicken Chili

Okay, this was AWESOME...but not so fiery.  We served it with crushed up tortilla chips, avocado, sour cream and cheese.  By the date, you can tell how behind I am on trying recipes I have flagged in magazines.  ahem.
Regardless, I loved it and will make it again.

Fiery Chicken Chili
November 2007- Rachel Ray Magazine

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 onions, chopped

4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

4 teaspoons dried oregano

2-1/2 teaspoons ground cumin

1-1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon paprika

1 large chipotle chile in adobo sauce, finely chopped, sauce reserved

3 pounds skinless, boneless chicken thighs, thinly sliced

Two 28-ounce cans diced tomatoes with their juice

Three 15.5-ounce cans pinto beans, rinsed

Chopped avocados, cilantro leaves, grated cheddar cheese, chopped scallions and sour cream, for serving

Directions:
In a large, heavy saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions, garlic, oregano, cumin, salt and paprika and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is softened and the spices are fragrant, about 7 minutes. Stir in the chipotle and 1 tablespoon adobo sauce. Add the chicken and cook, stirring, until the meat begins to turn opaque, about 2 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes and beans and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes. Uncover, increase the heat and simmer the chili briskly, stirring often, until thickened, 25 to 30 minutes.

Your to-do list for weight loss success...

According to Dr. Connie Stapleton:

1. Make consistently healthy food choices (protein, veg, then fruit/if it is white don't bite)
2. Maintain portion control
3. Exercise
4. Water all day (except during meals 30/30 rule)
5. Plan your meals
6. Food diary
7. Exercise Diary
8. Sleep
9. Support system
10. Personal counseling

So let's get honest...how many of these am I doing?

1. Good Choices-Adequate 
• I have a bit or two of bread occasionally but I am not getting in enough protein. 
• ACTION: up my protein
2. Portions-Good  
•  I am very aware of when I need to stop eating.  However, I am not measuring my portions. 
• ACTION: measure my food for a couple of days to make sure I am still seeing my food portions properly.
3. Exercise-Poor
• I have been using activity as exercise.  They are not the same thing
• ACTION: Create an exercise routine for the week
4. Water-Unknown
• Honestly, I have no idea.  I haven't been keeping track of my water
• ACTION: track my water for a few days to see where I am
5. Planning-Good
• I usually know what I have in the house that will be a good choice for me.  However, I have not been planning dinners
• ACTION: start planning dinners for the family
6. Food Diary- Poor
• I haven't been keeping track for months
• ACTION- I have already started tracking again.
7. Exercise Diary- Poor
• I can't track what I am not doing
• ACTION: DO IT!
8. Sleep-Okay
• I haven't been using my CPAP since I sleep worse with it on.  Is this okay?  I am not sure.
• ACTION- start going to bed earlier and try the CPAP for a couple of days.
9. Support- Good
• Word to my bariatrictv peeps and my family 
• ACTION- stay honest with my support system
10. Counseling- Good
• I have been seeing my counselor for about a month now
• ACTION- keep it up!

I have some work to do.  But I can do it :)

From WLS LIfestyles Magazine....

Ten Secrets of Highly Successful Weight Losers


By: Dr. Russ L'HommeDieu, DPT
 
....What I have learned is that ALL successful losers actually re-invent themselves. No matter where they start. No matter how bad off they are. When they become successful losers, they all seem to have these 10 common traits.




They Have a Compelling Vision & Solid Purpose

They Maintain An Honest Awareness of Their Thoughts, Actions and Surroundings

They Don’t Take it Too Lightly or Themselves Too Seriously

They Eat Well and Often

They Move Well and Often

They Are Accountable

They Construct Support Positive Systems and Accept Help

They Explore Life Outside Their Comfort Zone and Embrace the Change

They Under Promise and Over Deliver

They Believe in Who They Are & What They Can Do

Status Update

Here is the latest progress pic...I was all duded up for a PEO initiation/meeting.  I am down 68 lbs in this picture...

Sites I *heart* right now...

Top of my list is always BariatricTV....

http://bariatrictv.com/
I found the video podcasts earlier this year and the wealth of knowledge of this group is unrivaled...and they are damn funny.  Monday night is when we have our online support meeting- it is great. 

Sites for recipes:
http://www.chefdave.org/
http://bariatricfoodie.blogspot.com/
http://healthyindulgences.blogspot.com/
http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/recipes.html
http://eatingwelllivingthin.wordpress.com/
http://www.snack-girl.com/
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

Other sites:
http://www.nawls.com/
http://wlsfa.org/
http://www.bariatricbadgirlsclub.com/
http://pamtremble.blogspot.com/
http://theincredibleshrinkingfattie.wordpress.com/
http://formerfatdudes.com/

Progress- month three

Start: May 10th-

Current: September 6th- 62 lbs down.

What are you?

Currently, I have lost a guinea pig, a small bale of hay, and a Chihuahua.

1 pound = a Guinea Pig

1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts

2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs

3 pounds = an average human brain

4 pounds = an ostrich egg

5 pounds = a Chihuahua

6 pounds = a human’s skin

7.5 pounds = an average newborn

8 pounds = a human head

10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year

11 pounds = an average housecat

12 pounds = a Bald Eagle

15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs

16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain

20 pounds = an automobile tire

23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year

24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream

25 pounds = an average 2 year old

30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year

33 pounds = a cinder block

36 pounds = a mid-size microwave

40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg

44 pounds = an elephant’s heart

50 pounds = a small bale of hay

55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner

60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)

66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year

70 pounds = an Irish Setter77 pounds = a gold brick

80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape

90 pounds = a newborn calf

100 pounds = a 2 month old horse

111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year

117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)

118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica

120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month

130 pounds = a newborn giraffe

138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year

140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year

144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)

150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary

187 pounds = an average adult man

200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds

235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger

300 pounds = an average football lineman

400 pounds = a Welsh pony

Progress and a new hair color

Here are the last few weeks progress pics. The one from this last Sunday also shows my new darker do (I really like it!)


Before: (yikes!)




















Last Week: (week 9)
This week: (week ten)

What is wrong with our society?

Sigh.

Another easy dinner...

Orange Cilantro Shrimp

Prep Time: 3 minutes

Cook Time: 6 minutes

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1/2 cup shrimp and 2 tablespoons sauce)
Ingredients





2/3 cup half-and-half
1 large chipotle chile, canned in adobo sauce
1 teaspoon grated orange rind
Cooking spray
1 1/2 pounds peeled and deveined large shrimp
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Preparation
1. Place first 3 ingredients in a blender; process until smooth.
2. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray; add shrimp. Coat shrimp with cooking spray; sprinkle with cumin and salt. Sauté 4 minutes or until shrimp are done, stirring frequently. Transfer shrimp to a serving platter. Reduce heat to medium, add half-and-half mixture to pan, and cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Pour sauce over shrimp; sprinkle with cilantro.



Nutritional Information
Calories:
186 (30% from fat)
Fat:
6g (sat 3.3g,mono 0.3g,poly 0.6g)
Protein:
28.3g
Carbohydrate:
2.6g
Fiber:
0.5g
Cholesterol:
267mg
Iron:
4.3mg
Sodium:
494mg
Calcium:
97mg

An Elephant Heart and a Chihuahua

I have officially hit a 49 lb loss...which is the equivalent of an elephant heart and a chihuahua. I am also below my pre-pregnancy weight! My next goal it to hit the same weight I was when I got married 6 years ago...this is getting exciting!

Weeks 4 and 5....

Start Pic:

Week Four and Five:

Baka the Brilliant...

Reposted from the BTV forums. Baka is a great resource for all things protein...here are his thoughts on stalls:

Stalls:
Pull back from your ‘daily’ charting, and look at a weekly or even monthly. There are up and down spikes each day, But if you ‘graph’ the highest to the lowest, I’d bet there is still A downward slope over the course of the month.

There’s an 8 to 10lb. volume of "wiggle room" due to water alone. And it comes into play a lot. This has to do with our bodies using glycogen for short term energy storage. Glycogen is not very soluble, But it is stored in our muscles for quick energy – One pound of glycogen requires 4 lbs of water to keep it soluble, And the average glycogen storage capacity is about 2 lbs.So, when you are not getting in enough food, (Like when you drop down to your calorie intake) Your body turns first to stored glycogen, Which is easy to break down for energy. And when you use up 2 lbs of glycogen, You also lose 8 lbs of water that was used to store it Voila -- the "easy" 10 lbs that most people lose in the first week of any diet.

As you stay in caloric deficit, however, Your body starts to ‘realize’ that this is not a short term problem.You start mobilizing fat from your adipose tissue And burning fat for energy. But your body also ‘realizes’---- (by way of your liver releasing hormones signaling low Cal intake) ---That fat can't be used for short bursts of energy – Like, to outrun a saber-tooth tiger. So, it starts converting some of the fat into glycogen, And rebuilding the glycogen stores.And as it puts back the 2 lbs of glycogen into the muscle, 8 lbs of water has to be stored with it to keep it soluble. So, even though you might still be LOSING energy content to your body, (Thus showing negative Calorie load overall) Your weight will not go down or you might even GAIN for a while.

As you retain water to dissolve the glycogen that is being reformed and stored. Yes? The whole ‘weight-loss’ process is not a straight "Slide" down the scale. More like "Stair-Steps," (Down then forward, then down, then forward, etc... As your body cycles fat out of "deep storage" and through the Liver Into the muscles as Glycogen.The muscles and Liver can hold about a 3 weeks supply. This is why many people find that their "Stall" or "Plateau" Breaks when adding a bit of exercise And upping their water intake, or in the case of an "extreme exerciser," The total Calorie or Protein Intake, To signal the liver to let go of more Glycogen.Protein 101 for RNY FreaksCliff notes version:Your body is going to TAKE the proteins it needs for survival and it’s not too particular where it gets them from….. Your job is to feed the beast and try to limit the body from chowing down on your muscle.

Long boring version:
Proteins form the body’s main structural elements and are found in every cell and tissue. Take away the water, and about 75 percent of your weight is protein.Our bodies use proteins for growth and to build and repair:
1. Bone
2. Muscles
3. Hair
4. Connective tissue
5. Skin
6. Internal organs
7. Blood
8. Virtually every other body part or tissue

Besides building cells and repairing tissue, proteins form antibodies to combat invading bacteria & viruses; they build nucleoproteins (RNA & DNA). They make up the enzymes that power many chemical reactions. They also carry oxygen throughout the body and participate in muscle activity.Hormones, antibodies and enzymes that regulate the body’s chemical reactions are all made of protein. Without the right proteins, blood won’t clot properly and cuts won’t heal.Each protein is a large complex molecule made up of a string of building blocks called amino acids. The 20 amino acids the body needs can be linked in thousands of different ways to form thousands of different proteins, each with a unique function in the body.Your body can’t use food protein directly. So after protein is ingested, digestive enzymes break the protein into shorter amino acid chains, and then into individual amino acids.

In FREAKS, this normal digestive process is bypassed. These digestive enzymes are not available until they meet with the food protein in the common channel of the small intestine, and then have only about 5(distal) – 7 ½(proximal) ft (compared to 20 ft in a “normal” digestive tract) to do their job. The amino acids then enter the blood stream and travel to the cells where they are incorporated into proteins the body needs.How much protein do I really need?RNY FREAKS absorb about 50 percent of the nutrients they take in due to malabsorption - whether it’s regular grub or supplements.The average non-freak needs 50-75 grams of protein each day.RNY FREAKS on average will need 100-150 grams of protein per day when you factor in the 50% malabsorption/exercise. This is why it drives me crazy when I hear NUTS telling baby freaks not to use protein shakes.... cos to consume 150g of protein a day from regular grub is not possible with the small pouch.

“How to determine grams of protein you need daily when not yet at ideal weight: Subtract 120 from your current weight. Multiply that answer by .25 and add it to 120.So for me that works out to be:223lbs - 120 = 103 x .25 = 25.75 + 120 = 145.75g of protein per dayBut why....can't you get that much protein just from eating?It all depends on the BIOAVAILABILITY of the protein in question. Which means how well your body absorbs it.The Biological Value, or BV, of a protein is an indicator of the quality of the protein. It is a measure of a protein's ability to be used by the body (or its bioavailability). It is a percentage (though the scale is skewed resulting in some BV's of greater than 100) of the absorbed protein that your body actually uses. Biological Values are indicators of which proteins are best at aiding nitrogen retention in muscles to help them maintain or grow.

Many of the whey protein powder manufacturers claim that their products have BV values well above regular whey protein by various techniques such as ion-exchange processing, hydrolization, and adding other ingredients such as specific amounts of limiting essential amino acids.Hydrolyzation is a process breaking large peptides into smaller ones. It is sometimes referred to as "pre-digested".Regular undigested whey will be broken down into di- and tri-peptides via enzymes in the gut (which freaks no longer have). This process takes a while, even in the non-freak. Hydrolyzation is useful when protein delivery is needed very quickly so the body doesn't have to require the time and enzymes doing it. The benefit is of having a quickly absorbed protein to ensure muscle tissue is flooded with nutrients in a timely manner.

BIOAVAILABILITY OF PROTEIN TYPES
The higher on the list, the better.The numbers are the BV. (Biologic value).This is only how easily the (normal) body can absorb them, not the protein grams in each one. The last few need to be blended to make a complete protein.And remember….freaky patients don’t absorb nutrients from food protein very well.
Protein Source---------------------------BV
Whey Protein Isolate Blends -----------100-159
Whey Concentrate (Lactalbumin) ------104
Whole Egg ----------------------------------100
Cow's Milk -----------------------------------91
Egg White (Albumin) ----------------------88
Fish -------------------------------------------83
Beef ------------------------------------------80
Chicken --------------------------------------79
Casein (a protein from milk) -------------77
Rice -------------------------------------------74
Soy --------------------------------------------59
Wheat ----------------------------------------54
Beans -----------------------------------------49
Peanuts --------------------------------------43

So, because we freaks don't have a stomach and the stomach acids, etc, anymore, we don't process the undigested proteins properly and malabsorb most of them. The same is for the normal food we eat. We don't absorb most of it. We, therefore, need the more highly absorbed, pre-digested protein supplements.....whey which is pre-digested (aka hydrolized)...in order to get the proper nutrients our bodies need and are no longer able to get from food.So, whereas whole egg, cow's milk, egg white are near the top of the list of bioavailability for "normal" people, they are not pre-digested (hydrolized), so for us, they are not as high on the list as pre-digested whey protein. Our bioavailability list would be quite different from the "normal" person's list.

So, make sure your protein powder or drink states that it is pre-digested or hydrolized. And the best kind of protein would be a whey blend protein. Second best would be a 100% whey protein. Isolates, though good for a quick acting pick-me-up, are not sufficient alone for freaky patients on-going maintenance requirements.Suffice to say..... Protein supplements will be part of your life forever if you want to do things right.

More pics...

Sorry for the light posting....we adopted a puppy last week and it is like having another kid. Yikes!

Here is the most recent progress photo...

Progress...

Okay, here are the first of my progress pictures.

I know disclaimers are lame, but keep in mind, I take these Sunday nights...which means I have been out working in the yard or doing laundry all day....not getting dressed up with makeup :).

Two weeks preop (the night before the liquid diet)

The night before surgery

Two weeks postop

Three weeks post op

Four weeks postop (down 38 lbs)

Feeling Better!

Thanks to some pep talkin' from my BTV peeps, I am feeling better about things. I am doing really well with my vitamins (thank you itouch for the list making app I downloaded. I can check them off as I take them!) my water is way up now that I realized I can take bigger sips than I have been AND, the my protein is looking better. Now, if I my stall would just get the hell out of here, I would be all set.

So, speaking of protein...we rocked some delish Chicken Shawarma tonight. My three-year-old even helped make it. (She was the master stirrer.)

Here is a link to the recipe:
http://genaw.com/lowcarb/rachaels_chicken_shawarma.html

We made a couple of tweaks, but overall it was delicious. It doesn't really taste like authentic shawarma but who cares, it was tasty!

The past two days

have been TOUGH! I haven't felt like eating ANYTHING that is remotely good for me. The only thing that appeals to me are Hummus Chips and Alexia Onion Strips. Neither of which I should be eating. I have been taking my vitamin, but I can't get in all my water nor my protein and I am still having some achiness in my side so I haven't been able to go to the gym...

So, I feel like crap.

And it is my own fault.

I need to kick my own ass.

Sigh.

Here is where I am...
On a good note, I pushed through my stall from the last week and have lost another 4 lbs- hooray. On a bad note, I am REALLY struggling with some pain underneath one of my incisions. I think that particular incision went through a muscle and the pain is just the muscle growing back together...but DAMN, it hurts. It isn't all the time, it is just when I am driving or sitting at the computer (like now). I think it comes form when I am using my right arm- because it engages that muscle.

Holy crap, it literally takes my breath away on occasion.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner....

I tried a new recipe tonight.... CRISPY ORANGE CHICKEN!

AND EVERYONE LOVED IT!!!

(Trust me, this is a damn miracle.)

The recipe was courtesy of this website... http://eatingwelllivingthin.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/take-out-not/

(Linda is a frickin' genius!)

Quck and Easy Grilled Dinner

Tonight we are celebrating Father's Day at my in-laws house. They are making ribs, baked beans, corn and dessert. I will be bringing my own dinner (no hard feelings, I just DO NOT want people to have to cater to my dietary needs. We have to exist in the real world eventually, people!)

I have found that when I have a fancier or more interesting meal, it doesn't make me miss the old carb/sugar loaded standbys. So, I will be making kabobs from chicken, green onions, mushrooms and yellow squash. I am also bringing thinly sliced English cucumber and low fat laughing cow as a appetizer (I just need to remember not to eat too many) and some suger free pudding for dessert.

Doesn't that sound yummy?!?!?! I hope I am setting myself up to not feel deprived in any way.

Cheers!

The Steps.

Recently, the idea that obesity is an addiction has gained more credibility. Although many will argue that unlike most addiction where you can avoid the temptation (be in alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc) you have to eat. You cannot just stop "cold turkey". So how does this fit into the traditional treatment for addiction? I thought that this adaption of the original Alcoholics Anonymous steps was pretty cool:

The 12 Steps:
I admit that I am powerless over FOOD— My life before WLS was unmanageable, and can become so again.
I believe that a Power greater than myself will restore me to sanity.
I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him/Her.
I am making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
I have admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
I am entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
I will humbly ask Him/Her to remove my shortcomings.
I am making a list of all persons I have harmed, and am willing to make amends to them all.
I will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
I will continue to take personal inventory and when I am wrong, promptly admit it.
I am seeking, through prayer and meditation, to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His/Her will for me, and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I am working to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all of my affairs.

Admitting you are powerless takes a pretty big leap, yes?

Yum

A few nights ago I modified a recipe out of a cookbook for post WLS...it was delish. Even Beau liked it. Super easy and only a few ingredients....

cooking spray or EVOO
1 lb chicken
1 lrg shallot, minced
1/2 cup canned diced tomatoes, drained
1/2 lb mushrooms, sliced
2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 fat free evo milk
salt and pepper

Over med/high, heat EVOO in pan, brown chicken until cook through, remove from pan and keep warm.
Add a bit more EVOO if needed and add shallot, cook 1 minute and then add mushrooms. Cook until brown all over. Add oregano and tomatoes and stir well...let cook for about 7 minutes. Turn heat to low and add milk, stir constantly for about 5 minutes. Add back in chicken juices that have accumulated on the plate.

Serve chicken with sauce spooned over it.
Serves 4.

For the family, I pureed the sauce- Beau is not a bit fan of tomato chucks. It is not a pretty sauce once you puree it, but it is tasty.

For me, I pureed 2 oz of chicken and then spoons 2 tablespoons of the sauce of the chicken.

Surgery

Two weeks ago today I was in surgery. It is crazy how quickly the last two weeka have gone, but it seems to have balanced out how slowly the week leading up to surgery went.

I arrived at the hospital at 9am for an 11 am surgery time. Once I completed check in and received my ID bracelet we waited int he waiting room for the nurse to take me back to preop. The preop process involved getting into the gown, having some blood drawn, urine sample, talking to the anesthetic nurse, the surgeon and the anesthesiologist. After I was all settled, they had Tim come back to keep me company. They gave me a mild sedative and I was wheeled back into the operating room. I hopped over to the table and once I laid down, I was out. The next thing I was aware of was just some chaos around me in the recovery room. People checking things and taking of masks, IVs and such. The took me up to my room and Tim was waiting.

The rest of the day just floated in and out, lots of morphine hits (they put you on a pain pump), frequent blood pressure, temp and heart rate tests. They also had massaging leg cuffs on me to keep my circulation going to prevent blood clots. Towards the end of the day, I walked around the floor once to make sure to keep things active and moving. That night was okay- nothing compared to night two! (more on that below). I was in and out most of the night because every hour they come in to either take a measurement, draw blood or whatever. Tim went home around 8 because I was falling asleep on the phone talking to everyone. I didn't want him to stay since there were plenty of other people keeping an eye on me.


I was up around 7 am on day two. I felt pretty good and got up to walk around the floor as soon as Tim arrived. They took me off the leg massage machine and I spent a good chunk of the day in the chair instead of in bed. I also was able to wash my hair in the ink- heaven! I started having some trouble with not producing enough urine (sorry if that is TMI) so they gave me a diuretic and two double doses of fluid (the IV drips twice as fast). Even after that I was still low. The catheter was only working if I stood up, so it made me walk a lot more than I might have. Tim went home at around 8 and I went straight to bed. At about 1am I woke up having to pee the worst I have EVER HAD TO PEE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE! Which was weird since I had a catheter in. Long story shot, the catheter had stopped working for some unknown reason. The nurse took pity on me and removed it since we hadn't heard back from my surgeon yet.

It was the best pee ever.

The doctor later told me he had only seen that happen twice in his career. Leave it me to have a difficult bladder.

Anyways, the rest of the night went by great since I wasn't in pain anymore. At 6am the doctor/surgeon came to see me and said I was all set to go! By 9:30 we were checked out and one the way home.

2 days to go!

Today was a bit tough for me....I went too long between breakfast and lunch and ended up overeating a bit once I fanally ate. (That and I ate some chicken- not a totally bad thing, but I had already eaten my lean protein for the week.)

More and more I am thinking about how planning is so essential to the success of any weight loss / get healthy type endeavor. Is it because I don't make good food decisions on the fly? Yes (or I wouldn't be overweight). Is it because there is a sense of control over something that previously had control over you? Again, yes.

Regardless of the reasons, planning your daily meals/snacks is essential. The trick is to not plan too far ahead. If you do that you are stuck eating something you are not in the mood for which opens you right up to swapping out your plan for something that is full of chemical, fat, calories and god onlyknows what else.

I so wish that there was a daily farmer's market that allowed me to pick up only the fresh food I needed for that day. I have been stopping at Earth's Fare a couple of times a week, but it isn't quite the same. I would love to get into a routine that allowed for farmer's markets on the weekend....of course, the only thing standing in the way of that, is me.

Obese.

That word is pretty highly charged for many people. To some it is even worse than being call fat. I was reading an entry from McNee, of the website "Former Fat Dudes", about the term obesity. It made me really rethink the term and its connotations. Really, it is a diagnosis not a descriptor.

http://formerfatdudes.com/2010/05/flashback-go-ahead-call-me-obese-i-dare-ya/

What struck me the most was Gastric Barbie's (http://gastricbypassbarbie.com/) comment.

"My obesity is in remission, but it could flair up at any moment. I recognize and respect that fact, but I choose not to fear it.
I think you and I share the philosophy that life is to be lived to the fullest. Morbid obesity robbed us of that opportunity; bariatric surgery gave it back.
Keep fighting that good fight. One day. One bite. One chew at a time."


My hope is to keep that mantra in my head...I am in remission, but it can flare up at any moment. I am the only one who can manage that.

Portions.

This is such an interesting article. It is no wonder that so many people are struggling with obesity. If you think about it, our generation (Gen X) was still getting the "clean your plate" lecture growing up even though the portions were expanding. The whole concept of cleaning your plate is crap. I struggle with it all the time. It trains you to completely disregard your internal hunger cues and rely solely on external ones.
http://www.divinecaroline.com/79975/49492-portion-size--vs--now

What I am Munching

Okay, by now I assume you are curious about what this liquid diet entails. So, here you go:
The main requirements are to get between 90-120 grams of protein a day. Keep the carbs under 100 per day and stick with under 1300 calories.
Clear liquids are fine, as are protein shakes, l.f. yogurt, fresh or cooked veggies, l.f. cream soups, decaffeinated tea or coffee, skim milk, and my doctor said protein bars are also acceptable.

A typical day looks like this:
Breakfast- a vanilla protein shake mixed with pumpkin pie spice
Snack- s.f. Popsicle
Lunch- celery and l.f. laughing cow cheese, yogurt, protein bar
Snack: 1/4 cup of nuts, chicken broth
Dinner: sauteed mushrooms and steamed broccoli and cauliflower, protein bites
Snack: s.f. pudding, shake

This tallies up to about 900 calories, 60 carbs and 93 protein

The Mountain.

"If the mountain was smooth, you wouldn't be able to climb it"

So, here I am on day 8 of my liquid pre-op diet. It has been tough. Much easier this week than last. I know I can get through it.

The first day was really hard. I thought constantly of food. It was almost embarrassing. Days two and three were better. Day four and five were good. By then I was able to concentrate again and I didn't have a headache.

I have only "fell off the wagon" once. Damn that roasted chicken. It was taunting me with its spectacularly juice breast. (Now I know how men at a strip club feel.) Instead of the 4 oz I was supposed to have, I ate 8 or maybe 10. At least it was protein.

So, here I am on Day 8...feeling good, not thinking about food all day and generally pretty peppy.
Plus, I have lost 13 pounds!

I heart Elizabeth Gilbert

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Talk-from-O-Magazines-10th-Anniversary-Video

Easy?

In my first post I mentioned how I had always regarded surgery as the easy way out and how once I had learned more about it, nothing could be further from the truth. I wanted to explain...

I always thought that if you had surgery you just had to eat smaller portions, but could eat whatever you wanted.

Right.

Once you decide to have surgery, you have to go through a TON of stuff to make sure you are mentally and physically prepared for the changes that await you. Sleep study, blood work (lots of blood work), endoscopy, psych evaluations, support meetings, nutritionist meetings, exercise consultations, EKG, a two week liquid diet to shrink your liver in preparation for surgery and the list goes on. That doesn't even necessarily include the work you have to do for insurance approval! Documentation of weights for previous years, supervised weight loss programs, and documentation of previous weight loss attempts.

Now, let's look at the work you have to do mentally to prepare for life after surgery. As anyone who has researched surgery knows, everyone will tell you that the surgery is only a tool...that the work and success is completely dependant upon you. Sure, most people will loose weight afterwards, but to lose it all and KEEP IT OFF, you have to work hard. I will be on vitamin supplements for the rest of my life. I may not be able to tolerate dairy or sugar ever again. I will have to weight and measure my foods to make sure that they are not going to stretch out my stomach. I will have to make sure that I eat my protein first since this is what will sustain my body...and since I will only be able to eat a few tablespoons at a time (at least in the beginning), I have to make sure every bite counts. This surgery will force me to completely change how I look and treat food.

So, why do this? Why not just lose weight the "old fashioned" way? That is an important question. In fact, it was the question most of my friends and family asked me. The truth is, I have been fat since I was young. I have tried most diets that you can think of and although some were successful at first, I would gain back the weight plus some. I realized that I could not do this alone. I needed help.

Food is like any other addiction and the first step is to realize you are powerless over it.

Emotional Eating

Type 1. Food: My Adult Pacifier

If you get really hungry when you feel angry, depressed, anxious, bored or lonely, you use food to dull the pain that these emotions cause.

Type 2. I Stick Up For Myself by Stuffing Myself Up

If you react by getting hungry when others talk down to you, take advantage of you, belittle you, or take you for granted, you eat to avoid confrontation.

Type 3. Food: My One Faithful Friend

If you crave food when you have tension in your close relationships, you eat to avoid feeling the pain of rejection or anger.

Type 4. When I’m Chewing I Can’t Hear My Inner Critic

If you tend to become hypercritical of yourself, if you label yourself "stupid," "lazy," or "a loser," you eat to stuff down self-hatred.

Type 5. I Don’t Have Love but I Have Food

If your hunger gets activated because your intimate relationships don't satisfy some basic need like trust or security, you use food to try to fill the gap.

Type 6. Food Can’t Fill Up the Missing Parts in My Past

If you eat to make up for the deprivation you experienced as a child, you eat to forget the past.

Type 7. Don’t Tell Me What to Eat

If you eat to assert your independence because you don't want anyone telling you what to do, you eat to rebel.
 
Type 9. Fall in Love? I’d Rather Fall in Chocolate.


If you stuff your face in order to avoid your sexuality — either to stay overweight so that nobody desires you or to hide from intimate encounters — you eat to protect yourself from getting too close.

Type 10. I Use My Body as a Battleground

Emotional eaters often eat to pay back those who have hurt them, often in the distant past. They use their bodies as battlegrounds for working out old resentments. If you do this, you eat to get revenge or control anger.

Type 11. I Won’t Grow Up

If you eat to make yourself feel carefree, like a child, you eat to keep yourself from facing the challenges of growing up.

Type 12. I’m Secretly Afraid of Being Thin

If you overeat because you fear getting thin, either consciously or unconsciously, you eat to avoid the fear of change.

APPROVED!

I found out that I have been approved for the surgery. After some VERY annoying interactions with my insurance contact at the doctor's I finally pressured them into submitting the paperwork and it was approved about a week later.
This is big.

Status

I found out something interesting a few months back. I had to call my insurance company about something related to my sleep study and decided I would ask them to clarify the requirements for weight loss surgery. After speaking to a few people, it seemed clear that there was no 5 month supervised weight loss requirement.
So, I called my surgeon's office and told them what they said. Long story short, my documentation was sent over last week to my insurance provider for approval....instead of having to wait until May. It is only a bit early but every days counts!
The insurance contact at the surgeon's office said it could be 4 weeks until we hear back about an approval.
I am hoping for an approval...instead of having to go back and forth a few times.

Prep Update

Here is a list of what I have to do in order to even submit for insurance approval:

6 months of a medically supervised program - MAY NOT BE NEEDED FOR APPROVAL! I spoke with my insurance and this is not one of their requirements! So, hopefully I will be applying at the end of the month.

Sleep Study

Endoscopy

Nutritionist Appointment- scheduled

Psychiatric Assessment

Attend at least one surgical support group meeting- scheduled

Snoooooze.

I had my sleep study last night. I honestly didn't believe that I had apnea....so imagine my surprise when they called me today and diagnosed me with severe apnea.

I am really struggling with this and I don't know why.

I know that this is "technically" a good thing since it will help build my case for insurance approval, but it is still tough. I have lived as a fat girl for 22 years without major issue. It was always a great excuse to say my weight didn't matter. I didn't have all of these problems that the government was claiming were inevitable when you were overweight. Now, in my thirties, I am starting to see the impact this extra weight is having and it is hard. Please understand that I in no means am comparing apnea with diabetes or heart disease, but you still do get a bit of a reality check.

Weight is a tough issue. You have half the people pushing that you can be healthy at any weight and that you should love yourself for who you are on the inside. The other half is saying that weigh ti the root of all evil...sucking away our tax dollars through the health care system.

Prep.

Here is a list of what I have to do in order to even submit for insurance approval:

• 6 months of a medically supervised program
• Sleep Study
• Endoscopy
• Nutritionist Appointment
• Psychiatric Assessment
• Attend at least one surgical support group meeting

Here is what I have completed:

• 3 months of a medically supervised program
• Endoscopy
• Psychiatric Assessment

How it began...

I know that no one is reading this, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts down about this whole process. What process am I talking about? Gastric Bypass. Dum dum da dum daaaaaa.

I can remember the moment that I decided to look into surgery. I was reading an article and the woman was talking about how she had lost 100 pounds in 6 months. All I could think of is where I would be if I dropped 100 lbs. It would take me to 40 lbs BELOW my lightest weight ever. It would take me to within 40 lbs of my "dream weight". Could that be me? Could I do that?

I decided to go to the information session at the weight center. A few weeks before the session I started researching. A lot. It was kind of amusing because I told Tim as we were driving to the hospital that I was concerned I hadn't done enough...like I was studying for a test in college or something. Turns out I was one of the better prepared people there. I bring this up only so I can illustrate just how shocked I was by some of the questions coming out of people's mouths. It was like they thought they could just stop by the hospital, get the surgery and the weight would somehow disappear without them having to do any work at all.

Truth be told, that is partially how I viewed the surgery in the past. I felt like it was the "easy" way out. Nothing could be further from the truth. More on that to come.

This is it.

Do you think somone could survive on one to two tablespooons of food three meals a day?

They can.

...and I will.