Snoooooze.

I had my sleep study last night. I honestly didn't believe that I had apnea....so imagine my surprise when they called me today and diagnosed me with severe apnea.

I am really struggling with this and I don't know why.

I know that this is "technically" a good thing since it will help build my case for insurance approval, but it is still tough. I have lived as a fat girl for 22 years without major issue. It was always a great excuse to say my weight didn't matter. I didn't have all of these problems that the government was claiming were inevitable when you were overweight. Now, in my thirties, I am starting to see the impact this extra weight is having and it is hard. Please understand that I in no means am comparing apnea with diabetes or heart disease, but you still do get a bit of a reality check.

Weight is a tough issue. You have half the people pushing that you can be healthy at any weight and that you should love yourself for who you are on the inside. The other half is saying that weigh ti the root of all evil...sucking away our tax dollars through the health care system.